Polyamory & Open Marriage: What’s the Difference and Why it Matters
Are you longing to reexamine the rules of monogamy? Do you feel too boxed in by relationship norms? Is the authentic connection you want suppressed by love or sex with just one person?
If you need more than society sanctions, you are not alone. And you have no reason to be ashamed. Sexual self-awareness is empowering and choosing your unique relationship model is empowering too.
Still, are you uncertain about what choosing nonmonogamy means? What do sexual fulfillment and relational connection look like for you? Have you considered polyamory or an open relationship? Are you confused about the differences?
That’s okay, just keep reading and consider what may be right for you:
Key Differences Between Polyamory and Open Marriage
What is Polyamory?
Polyamory refers to one person having intimate relationships with more than one person simultaneously. If you are polyamorous, you could have or want to have several romantic partners at once. It’s important to note that your gender is of no consequence when it comes to polyamory. Men, women, and non-binary people choose these relationships for their own reasons.
What are some common reasons people choose polyamory? Some reasons include the following:
partners share that they are attracted to others as well as each other.
they and their initial partner want to love and connect with more people at once.
one partner has a desire to participate in sexual acts that the other would rather not.
one partner would like to enjoy romantic love or sex with another gender.
one or both partners view love or sex with more partners simultaneously as fascinating and freeing.
one or both partners are curious and want to experiment with polyamory.
some polyamorous people might have multiple relationships but not have sex at all.
What is an Open Marriage?
Open marriage refers to a committed relationship in which each spouse is free to reach out to other sex partners separately. Many couples establish clear ground rules. Spouses discuss conditions of the relationships outside of the primary partnership. Commonly, sex is sanctioned. However, intimate, personal relationships are not.
What are common reasons people choose open marriage? Some reasons include the following:
partners share that they are attracted to others as well as each other.
they and their primary partner want to have sex or experiment sexually with those they are attracted to.
they and their primary partner want to resolve issues of sexual dissatisfaction.
one partner has a desire to participate in sexual acts that the other would rather not.
one partner would like to enjoy sex with another gender.
one or both partners view sex with others while preserving their marriage as fascinating and freeing.
one or both partners are curious and want to experiment sexually with others.
Why Talking About This Matters
The truth? Most people have only ever witnessed monogamy as a legitimatized relationships. Attraction to and loving multiple people is often seen as shameful. Yet, you may simply be one of the many who are capable of loving multiple people at the same time.
Consensual nonmonogamy is not unfaithfulness.
Unforced polyamory and open marriages are not cheating. Choices are made, boundaries are communicated, lifestyles are created that serve you and your partners best. This isn’t an “anything goes” situation. Consent is the key to success and mutual satisfaction. You have the power to create your own happiness.
Relationships have their difficulties, polyamorous and open marriages are no different.
Neither relationship option is a sign that you or your partner can’t commit. Relationship satisfaction is comes in a variety of forms.Whether you find relationship satisfaction is always a result of open, honest communication, not adherence to unsatisfying norms.
When working out the realities of your relationship with your initial partner, articulate clearly why you’re interested in ethical consensual nonmonogamy. Communicate your love and respect. Connecting with others who can help you navigate emotions and execution of key lifestyle changes well.
Embrace Who You Are with an Experienced Therapist
If you’re considering polyamory, release yourself of shame or guilt. Breakthrough the norm narrative in your head. You’re not alone and support is available. Please reach out if you’re having a tough time coming to terms with what this means in your life and relationships. Let’s work out together the best way to live out who you are and what you want.
Please read more about relationship counseling and let’s connect in a confidential consultation.