Adoption Competent Therapy: What is it and Why it Matters
Are you an adult adoptee or someone who loves an adopted person? How do you think about it? How have you been told you should think about it?
Why does it matter, some may ask? After all, adoption is a good thing, isn’t it? Adoptees are told it’s something we should feel grateful for. But is that correct?
You likely know that the story of your adoption is not so easily resolved. And you are not alone. Adoption, is not a simple journey socially, emotionally, or mentally. Working through a system and relationships shrouded in secrecy and avoidance is complicated.
Are you managing memories of a childhood that included social shaming about your origins, or rumors about the character of their your parents? You may also struggle with life long feelings of abandonment. Many adults face a past adoption policy of closed files and insensitivity. Childhood trauma prior to and linked to being adopted isn’t unusual either
All of this may have kept you from really exploring who you are. Yet, the damage to your sense of self and relationships is real and deserves attention.
That’s where adoption competent therapy comes in. It’s time to heal.
What is Adoption Competent Therapy?
If you were adopted, you deserve the time and space to learn more about your own identity, biological beginnings, and more. It’s perfectly normal to want to feel whole and at peace with yourself and the circumstances of your entire life story. Fortunately, with adoption competent therapy, you don’t have to tackle that process alone. This form of therapy allows for specialized guidance and support that helps you find yourself and improve your life.
Adoption competent therapy incorporates several key factors to be effective and productive:
A qualified professional: experience and training are crucial. Look for help from someone who is capable of treating trauma-based adoption issues.
An approach that appreciates the big picture: competent therapy looks at the circumstances of your origins and attachments. Therapy should examine how adoption informs and shapes your entire life experience, past to present.
An understanding of adoption perceptions: therapy takes into account the influences of cultural trends, stereotypes, and perspectives regarding adoption.
A willingness to deal with the trauma: competent counseling understands that adoptees often cope with trauma in a host of forms. Facing the related anxiety, grief, and shame is integral to the therapy process.
Why Choosing an Adoption Competent Therapist Matters
A competent therapist encourages curiosity and awareness.
Adoption’s history of withholding information creates real anxiety around asking even the most basic questions. A compassionately prepared therapist understands and makes space for you to safely explore your beliefs and emotions. This can be very validating and empowering as you ask questions and take actions that improve your life.
A competent therapist helps link your adoption to your current feelings, choices, and beliefs.
Adoptees, birthparents, adoptive parents, and families benefit from a competent therapist’s open mind. Particularly regarding issues that don’t appear to be adoption-specific. An adoption competent therapist recognizes that adoption shapes thinking, self-perception, and relationship building.
An informed therapist understands how adoption impacts your relationships.
Ideas about boundaries, intimacy, loyalty, and grief are key. Feelings, positive and negative, about searching for and reuniting with birth families are honored and explored in therapy.
Your therapist helps explore the layers of your identity and integrate them into your adoption experience.
Are you a transracial, transcultural, and sexual minority? Your experience as an adoptee deserves time and attention too. A well-trained and compassionate adoption competent therapist will help you make connections and value all the parts of yourself.
Take the Next Step
Are you struggling with guilt, confusion, feelings of abandonment or low self-esteem related to your adoption? Do you need someone who understands the complex nature of your story? I am here to help. Please read more about adult adoptee counseling and contact me soon for a confidential consultation.