What is Sensate Focus (SF)

Sensate focus is a foundational exercise in sex therapy, originally developed by Masters and Johnson. Sensate focus is a structured sex therapy technique designed to increase intimacy through a low-pressure, low-anxiety experience. Sensate focus helps couples address issues such as miscommunication, performance anxiety, past rejection, erectile dysfunction, low arousal, mismatched desire, and reinitiating their sex life after a period without sex. The exercise progresses through stages, first focusing on non-sexual touch before moving toward more intimate contact.

SF is an evidence-based sex therapy intervention for performance anxiety, improved sexual satisfaction, and deeper intimacy between couples.

Goals of SF

Increase intimacy by staying present to sensations in the moment, without forcing pleasure and arousal, practicing:

Mindfulness: Bringing awareness to the present moment, without judgment.

Non sexual touch (in initial stages): physical contact without the intention to have sex.

Sensory Awareness: Focusing on bodily awareness instead of your thoughts

Improved Communication: Practice communicating your needs and preferences to your partner in a low-pressure context.

Instructions for SF

Phase 1: Non-Sexual Touch

In Phase 1, keep clothes on, and no breast or genital contact.
Schedule uninterrupted private time together, at least two times per week if possible.
Begin with 5-15 minutes of scheduled time per partner.
Decide who will be the receiver first.
The receiver decides what kind of touch they would like to receive during the allotted time (e.g., hand-holding, head rubbing), communicates their preference to their partner, who provides the requested touch. The receiver focuses on the sensations experienced.
Toucher focuses on sensations of touching.
Switch roles.

Tips: notice sensations like texture, temperature, and pressure. If you notice your mind wandering, bring your attention back to the present moment.

Phase 2:

Follow the instructions for Phase 1, and include the chest and breasts.
Consider extending the time and/or frequency of SF sessions.
Consider communicating likes (e.g., “I’d like more pressure”)
Consider removing some clothes
Consider Adding Sensory Play:
• Feather • String • Hair scrunchie • Pipe cleaners • Massage oil, lotion • Ice • Hot compress • Microfiber towels • Q-Tips • Makeup brushes, sponge, roller. • Stress ball • Stuffed animals • Fidget • Beads, bracelets (adapted from Linda Weiner).

Phase 3:

Incorporate mutual touching.
Consider starting with clothes on and progressing through Phases 1 and 2.
Consider adding lotion or lubricant
Focus is still on mindful awareness of giving and receiving pleasure, not intercourse
Communicate what feels good.

Phase 4:

Progress through Phases 1-3, and now include genitals
Progress to intercourse when ready.

Adaptations for trauma, chronic pain, and neurodivergence:

Consider body mapping to identify zones on the body where touch feels neutral, comforting, or triggering.
Create a low-stimulation, predictable environment.
Use shorter sessions

If you’re in Maryland, Washington, DC, Virginia, New York, Florida, or West Virginia, and would like to learn more about our services, schedule a consult with an experienced sex therapist, couples counselor, or trauma therapist. In other states, check out our courses and free products.

Enhance Your Intimacy with Sensate Focus